A letter.

To You.

I love you so much. I want you to be happy. I want us to be happy.  For 10 long months we’ve been together, it was such a bliss but a painful struggle between two lovers.  We laugh. We cry. We smile. We stern. For every emotion that we had, we shared it together. Yes, together.

I don’t know why I love you so much. I don’t know why I started loving you after all.

I’m so happy that we made this long. But I don’t know why I’m crying while writing this down.  This is the part when I realized that we’re not yet done. We’re just getting started.

I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m happy to be with you, but I have this pain. It hurts all along. I don’t know if you’ve hurt too.

I try everything to change this feeling. I try to work us out. When times are hopeless between us, I feel like breaking down. Sometimes it seems worthless to stay in this relationship. At times, I feel the urge to break us up. To tear the walls that keep us together. But I fear I won’t make it. That I can’t spend the day thinking that you’re not going to be there beside me. That there’s no one to hold hands to. That there’s nobody for me to say “I love you” ‘coz you’re not there. And it hurts just thinking about those. It hurts just thinking about those.

You mean the world to me, that’s why I didn’t let go.

Whether you’re going to read this or not, I just want the world to know that you gave me hope to carry on, and even if I’m not as happy as I was with my first love, I always wanted you to be my last.  And I love you.

Signing on a tear-stained paper and with a new Gtec pen,

Me.

Published by: nuthin2say

This is the blog of a person who has been won, defeated, won again.. Because life is just like that. Jamie, aka nuthin2say, is a pseudonym. She can be found in other places in the internet, using the online name jhamiefloatie. Her thoughts spewed words that created this blog. This contained her frustrations and victories towards her journey through life. This blog was born circa 2008. Most of the posts are from her teenage years.

Categories Letters, My Expressions, Online Diaries and F*cked Up Life StoriesLeave a comment

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