Unsent Letter No.2

June 25, 2011

8:25 AM

Beloved,

I woke up this morning with a strange feeling. I dreamt of you once again and it started to get me worried.  I miss you dear, more than I can tell you. It’s killing me.  The distance seems terrible.

I’m longing for you. I’m longing for your love. I’m longing for those times you also call me ‘Love’. I know this is the part wherein I realized that “my heart is sturdy but I need you to survive.” You are everything to me.

I just woke up in a dream where in someone had to cut my left wrist open, allowing me to bleed. The cut was deep and severe that it numbed the whole limb. Strangely, I woke up realizing that the dream is a reflection of my current situation. I AM BLEEDING. I am bleeding for you, I know how strangely emotional that sounds to you, but I am.  I am wounded, deeply wounded, that it no longer hurt that much. It feels cold, numb, EMPTY. It feels empty without you. Life is nothing without you.

I try to do other things, distracting myself. But no matter what, everything I do leads to you. I miss you. I wonder if you miss me too.

I love you a million times. Maybe, I love you more than that.

                                                                                                   -Jam L.